Entry 7- The Third Wheel

Dear Journal,
                   By the title, you could say I haven't been through a lot of happy things.
                   When you hear the word "third wheel", what would be the first thought that comes to you? Tricycle... Three wheeled transportation... or an extra insignificant little detail that interfere's with the whole thing. Right now, the third one best describes what happened. Someone asked me to be their third wheel in their secret date so it wouldn't look like one. I told her no, but just in case she won't get offended, I told her that I had plans on that day. I may be smiling on the outside, but you don't know how furious I am. In the inside, I'm crying, putting out a tantrum, and imagining what would it be like when I did say yes and went with their "date", and believe me, it wasn't pleasant at all. Just by hearing "third wheel", I already felt bad. Is that what she sees in me? Just an insignificant little detail that is only needed when the situation comes? A reason to get out of a situation where a relative of yours finds out about your date to save yourself from punishment? I may be kind to all of you, but that doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it. There are times where I could do favors and times that I do not. This... this is just bullcrap. If that's what you think of me, then be it. I wouldn't look at you the same anymore. If you're just using me, then you're not worthy of being called my friend. After I said "no", you shouted to your "date", who used to be my other crush, "She's so mean! She doesn't want to come with us!" HOW DARE YOU! I'm not going because I don't want to be part of it. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of people. I would feel awkward being the third wheel. If your relative sees you, you might say that you're not the one dating, it's me and your "boyfriend", and it would look like that I'm the bad guy or I'm the bad influence. No! I would not accept that. I don't want that. And if you're really my friend, you wouldn't ask me that nor would you react like I'm the bad person for not being your "third wheel".