Dear Journal,
I had doubts on my existence. I didn't want to bother anyone, and it seems I'm doing a pretty bad job in it. What really got me the most was my trust on every student in my batch. I had a few glimpses from what happened before, and it was all so clear now. How can I be so blind?! I've been trusting them too much. Because of those glimpses, my trust on everyone lowered by a mile. I can't help, but feel sad and disappointed. All what I ask was to be alone to help me think things through, but I can't seem to find anyplace that I could be by myself. I can't even trust myself for crying out loud. How can I trust other people when I couldn't even start on myself?! Everything is against me now. If you know people are gonna leave you or back stab you, then don't trust them. Being back stabbed hurts in a figurative way. I don't want to feel this way. I know I couldn't take it, so desperate times like this call for desperate measures. I won't trust anyone except my relatives there and my best friend/s. I ask questions, but no answers. Is there something wrong with me? Everything is so messed up now. I try to forget, but the thought comes back, and I can't help but go to a corner and think about it. Now, I feel empty inside because I have no one else to trust. Everyone is just like strangers to me now. I can't help but feel heartbroken and guilty at the same time. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I don't know who or who not to trust. It may hurt them, but I can't let them hurt me anymore. Some of them have to earn my trust back, and its not gonna be easy. If they don't trust me, then we're even. Hopefully, everything would go back to normal, and it would all be so clear.
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