Dear Journal,
The atmosphere around me is lighter than before. It feels good that someone could finally relate with me. How do I know? Well, someone online sent me a message that she could relate with what I was saying, and it felt good. We talked for a short time because I'm not a good conversationalist and neither is she. She blogs, too, but she made it less than a year ago. She said that she really wanted to start it a long time ago, but she didn't know how. It was the school club she joined that made her make her own blog. At the end, she was given a choice to either continue or not, and she obviously continued it. At first, she wanted to be anonymous to the people, but eventually, she showed her face because it was required to. I got to know her a little bit, and she's not half bad. I'm not sure if she would approve me telling the world who she is, so I'm not saying anything. I wouldn't want to disappoint my first online friend. All-in-all, this day turned out well, so far.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Entry 2- A Blast from the past (A revival from my original Diary)
(This is an entry I wrote on June 19,2014 just to make my first entry clearer)
Dear Journal,
I had doubts on my existence. I didn't want to bother anyone, and it seems I'm doing a pretty bad job in it. What really got me the most was my trust on every student in my batch. I had a few glimpses from what happened before, and it was all so clear now. How can I be so blind?! I've been trusting them too much. Because of those glimpses, my trust on everyone lowered by a mile. I can't help, but feel sad and disappointed. All what I ask was to be alone to help me think things through, but I can't seem to find anyplace that I could be by myself. I can't even trust myself for crying out loud. How can I trust other people when I couldn't even start on myself?! Everything is against me now. If you know people are gonna leave you or back stab you, then don't trust them. Being back stabbed hurts in a figurative way. I don't want to feel this way. I know I couldn't take it, so desperate times like this call for desperate measures. I won't trust anyone except my relatives there and my best friend/s. I ask questions, but no answers. Is there something wrong with me? Everything is so messed up now. I try to forget, but the thought comes back, and I can't help but go to a corner and think about it. Now, I feel empty inside because I have no one else to trust. Everyone is just like strangers to me now. I can't help but feel heartbroken and guilty at the same time. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I don't know who or who not to trust. It may hurt them, but I can't let them hurt me anymore. Some of them have to earn my trust back, and its not gonna be easy. If they don't trust me, then we're even. Hopefully, everything would go back to normal, and it would all be so clear.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Entry 1- A new start
Dear Journal,
First entry and I'm sad enough. I made this to tell my problems to people without them knowing who I really am. I wouldn't like anyone to bombard (that's a word, right?) me with questions the next day when I go to school. I don't ask for views and attention. I just want to tell my problems and see if some people could relate.
Today, I was really depressed. Let me tell you a quick summary of what's happening. I know that my crush knows that I used to like him. I don't trust people now except my best friends. Back to the story! I was waiting for my uncle to pick me up from school when I felt people watching me. I turned to see that my used-to-be crush was pointing in my direction and whispering something in his friend's ear. I looked closely to see he was laughing. I tried looking around to see that there was nothing to laugh about. I set the thought aside and decided to think about it later. 10 minutes have passed, my uncle wasn't here yet.
I turned back and saw them again. This time with more people including the most ignorant girl of the batch. He was pointing in my direction, and they were laughing again. I debated with myself if it was really a good idea to not trust the batch. I came to a decision that I wouldn't trust them anymore. I know I might regret this decision someday, but I don't see why I would regret it. I know I am over exaggerating, but you would understand when this happens to you too. This is all I have to say.
First entry and I'm sad enough. I made this to tell my problems to people without them knowing who I really am. I wouldn't like anyone to bombard (that's a word, right?) me with questions the next day when I go to school. I don't ask for views and attention. I just want to tell my problems and see if some people could relate.
Today, I was really depressed. Let me tell you a quick summary of what's happening. I know that my crush knows that I used to like him. I don't trust people now except my best friends. Back to the story! I was waiting for my uncle to pick me up from school when I felt people watching me. I turned to see that my used-to-be crush was pointing in my direction and whispering something in his friend's ear. I looked closely to see he was laughing. I tried looking around to see that there was nothing to laugh about. I set the thought aside and decided to think about it later. 10 minutes have passed, my uncle wasn't here yet.
I turned back and saw them again. This time with more people including the most ignorant girl of the batch. He was pointing in my direction, and they were laughing again. I debated with myself if it was really a good idea to not trust the batch. I came to a decision that I wouldn't trust them anymore. I know I might regret this decision someday, but I don't see why I would regret it. I know I am over exaggerating, but you would understand when this happens to you too. This is all I have to say.
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